Bill Oakley is one of the funniest, most creative people on the planet.
He's behind some of the most famous, classic episodes of "The Simpsons"— he was an executive producer and showrunner for the seventh and eighth seasons — and he's written for some of the best sitcoms, including "Mission Hill,""Portlandia," and "Regular Show."
Oakley is very active on Twitter — this week he was making fun of McDonald's for introducing "all day breakfast."
McDonald's ALL-DAY BREAKFAST is like that drunk guy trying to show these girls some of the code for the unfinished app he is "working on"
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
OK @McDonalds I feel like its time you got some tough love and I am prepared to give it. It will take at least 30 tweets and will (1/2)
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
lose me 1000 followers so either you're gonna pay me for this advice or my followers are gonna have to want it. We'll see. (2/2)
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
OK @McDonalds here is a bit of it: three point plan. INNOVATION, QUALITY, and NOSTALGIA.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
INNOVATION: Don't give me this bullshit about your Angus burgers and Steakhouse burgers and shit. I've had each of them and they are
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
minor variations on a theme. Each one is only vaguely different and they all taste mediocre to awful depending on the crew of the McD's
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
The last "specialty" burger you did that actually tasted *good* was the McDLT and I bet most fans would agree.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
You need to up your game to compete with the high end burger places and you know what? @CarlsJr is the one to emulate here
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
However long ago it was (15 years?) they launched those Six Dollar Burgers which are not "amazing" but are very good and in the low end of
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
the same ballpark with In & Out, Shake Shack, Whattaburger, etc. You need a burger -- and not just A burger -- but a mini-menu
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
within your normal menu that offers quality and taste that compete in that arena.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
OK that is the first part of a long and very well thought out screed @McDonalds - the rest will be on demand only
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
OK I'll keep going for a bit.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
This "quality" burger you introduce MUST be at least as flavorful at the @CarlsJr Six-Dollar burger and as easy for the franchisees to make
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
This burger will be CORNERSTONE of your NEW 4-6 item "American Classics" menu
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
Now we come to the NOSTALGIA angle
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
This American Classics (better name to come) Menu will emulate the original menu served at the first McD's in Downey CA or wherever in 1955
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
The mini-menu will have 4-6 items MAX and not allow for too much variation so as to avoid clogging up the drive thru as dummies make choices
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
It'll be a copy basically of the In & Out Menu
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
Hamburger, Cheeseburger, Fries, and one or two other things, maybe a high-end shake
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
All inspired by the original 1955 menu but done SUPER WELL. And no items over 4$. Who the hell is going to pay over $4 for a McDonalds
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
burger? This is one of the problem with your current menu strategy. The Big Mac etc are too expensive and it's a turn off
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
So your American Classic Burger & Cheeseburger will be a hit, I guarantee it.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
And just like at Carl's Jr, the American Classics (or whatever its called) menu can gradually grow into half of the regular menu or more
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
You can thereby transition into a "quality" burger chain without a complete reboot.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
Third tenet of the plan is INNOVATION. What the hell are you doing sitting on your ass while Taco Bell introduces a new menu item each week
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
?! Jesus christ, just look at @pizzahut with their new menu vs @dominos just sitting there all year with the same tired old crap.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
With the launch of the "American Classics" menu, you once in awhile (once a month), launch something new and noteworthy in the regular menu
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
Some blogger this suggestion last year and I cannot BELIEVE you didn't do it. Launch a destination Mega @McDonalds or two or three
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
Let's say three: One in Times Square, one in Vegas, one in Orlando. Each one is an ultra-cool big Super McDonald's and THERE you serve
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
a selection of the coolest best McDonald's items from all over the world. From the US, the Mc Lobster. Some of those wild ones from Japan
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
and India and Malaysia and France. Serve beer too. A "Royale with Cheese". etc etc. You will get SO much press AND you can easily
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
test market some of the overseas innovations. The more popular ones you can try launching at the regular U.S. McD's.
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015
OK -- that's it. For now. I suspect you'd pay some consultant a million bucks for that plan and you just got it for free on Twitter. Bye
— Bill Oakley (@thatbilloakley) September 2, 2015Join the conversation about this story »
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